Poetry - October 2022

Derby Day Delight

Haaland, Haaland
Came to us from Germany
And he'd score in the derby
Ha ha ha Haaland, hey
Haaland, Haaland
He works well with Phil Foden
They'd each get a hat trick then
Ha ha ha Haaland, hey
Haaland, Haaland
Scored a header over the line
Goalline tech said yes this time
Ha ha ha Haaland, hey
Haaland, Haaland,
Slid in there at the far post
Gave the fans something to boast
Ha ha ha Haaland, hey
Haaland, Haaland,
He scored yet another goal
And he'll take home the match ball
Ha ha ha Haaland, hey
Haaland, Haaland,
Phil Foden is his best mate
Scoring goals is really great
Ha ha ha Haaland, hey!

(Based on a certain song about Erling Haaland, but with the words changed to reflect our 6-3 derby day victory over Manchester United, where he and Phil Foden scored a hat trick each.)

The Inevitable Fear Of The Late Night Walk

I'm heading back home from a night out
I stick to the well lit streets
I feel a sense of unease about me
As I quickly move my feet
I know I shouldn't feel this way
But there seems to be an irrational fear
That someone's going to come along
And a noise I don't want to really hear
I know I have to feel positive
And on the outside be the focus of calm
But inside all I can sense is dread
I just don't want to come to any harm
I know I need to be thinking
That I can stick to the places with people
I won't feel as much worry or tension
And that it'll at least be half full
But there's a sense of foreboding
Until I make it all safely home
That these days it's just a fear I have
When I know I want to be out and roam.

(Written in third person perspective, but I am sure it rings true for many of us who do worry these days about heading home at night if you've not got someone to walk the last bit home with. You only have to look to the corrupt Metropolitan Police to show they won't help you, not at all, so you have to fend for yourself.)

Government of Chaos

So the Government and Prime Minister decide
That the economic way to tackle this thing
Is to be absolutely freaking reckless
Cutting this, cutting that and more cutting
Making the rich seem richer with the mini budget
But of course it's a warped reality
Which means as soon as the markets open
The pound drops its value massively
It's shown to be a think tank's favourite
All backed by those idiots at the so-called IEA
All based in Tufton Street and corrupt as hell
So instead we saw panic stations hold sway
The changes being made were going to turn
And u-turn spectactularly without fail
Because had things been kept as they were
What was a poor economy would be made frail
It was just so poorly judged and the wrong thing
And yet no sense of responsibility or shame
The votes of no confidence were coming in
And it's clear who was all to blame.

(What a stupid time it was for Liz Truss and her so-called Government, detached from reality and soon realising that the economic way we were in was wrong, and those Conservative members had been warned by Rishi Sunak that these policies were disastrous. What that also says about those members supposedly having a brain, who knows?)

Slippery Leaves

The rain had come down last night
The leaves had fallen from the trees
It was a case of being careful this morning
Because I knew of the slippery leaves
It was adding to the conditions out there
As I headed along towards work
I didn't want to be the one to fall over
And make myself look a total berk
The leaves continue to fall around me
With the rain coming crashing down
It's definitely a case of being careful
Or I'll look and fall like a clown.

(Have to be careful out there with those leaves and rain mixed together..)

New Treat Haiku

Brian has Dreamies
But these are sticks of snack joy
He gobbles them up!

(Dreamies are addictive snacks for cats, but the stick treats with salmon in are even more addictive for Brian the cat - he loves them so much that if his Mummy goes to the cupboard, he gives her the "I want one" look.)