Poetry - June 2023

Putting The Crazy In Golf

Each year in Hastings
There is a special gathering
That compete for a world title
To be the craziest of all things
It's the crazy golf world championship
On the iconic and classic course
Where a missed shot can cost
And par is not par for the course
There's always the iconic windmill
To dodge around or hit through
Or the little hump up to a level
So the ball can be aimed to fall to
It's eighteen holes of what seems simple
But can easily take many a shot
But if you can keep your cool after six rounds
You're in with a chance to win the lot
The par is a nominal thirty six shots
And to be in a chance of winning the prize
Every single round needs to be under it
So that it's a feast of putting before the eyes
This year someone hit a round of twenty eight
Which is just amazing for what that means
That's at least nine holes in one for the round
Which meant their skills are full of beans.

(I wish I was good enough to take on the pros at the World Crazy Golf Championship in Hastings. Maybe next year I'll enter the novice competition held on the Saturday and see how I do in that - at least if I gave that a go I can see if I measure up at all..)

Humidity is Horrible

I know I burn easily
In the sunshine especially
But the heat in some countries is fine
It's just on some occasions
That sends me to disillusions
Is the humidity and closeness - not fine
I try all I can to keep cool
But end up looking a sweaty fool
As my back drips with the heat
It's just so close and muggy
That it isn't at all funny
And I feel that I am just hot and beat
It's a sense of knowing
That all I will be showing
Is the sweat dripping down my brow
But all I really want to see
Is for a stop to the humidity
Just so that I can feel better now.

(I've noted it more that the humidity for me is what makes me feel so overly warm and hot, and it's just not nice being out there when the weather is like that.)

The Darkest Day For Snooker

The snooker season has been and gone
With a new world champion crowned at the Crucible
But a shadow hung over the game
As the investigation carried on in full
It was decided that once that had concluded
That multiple bans needed to be issued
All for match fixing and betting
Which seemed like it had been organised, it ensued
It wasn't a very good day for the game
With the cheaters rightly given lengthy bans for their crime
What made it more shocking for me
Was that some of them had potential to win at some time
Indeed one of them had won the UK Championship
And another one had won the Masters
But what befell them all was doing the wrong thing
And proving the masters of their own disaster
It leaves a very sour taste in the mouth
With two of the players getting banned for life
I hope it sends out a lesson for everyone else
That match fixing isn't worth the stress and strife.

(As harsh as it may sound, I was hoping for more lifetime bans and longer bans for some of the players concened. It's a real stain on the game of snooker and I'm only glad that the integrity of the investigation shows that such match fixing will not be tolerated and under any circumstances. Here's hoping it sends out a strong message.)

Goats in Huddersfield

My love and I arrived in Huddersfield station
We were off to see some friends
And also see Seth Lakeman live at a festival
Which would of course be the stuff of legends
One thing we both recall with fondness
Was on the way out of the centre of the town
We spotted someone walking along
But with a pet goat cantering up and down
It was definitely a surreal sight
That maybe we would expect in the country
But not on a main road out of a town centre
And that definitely was a memory we all found funny
I wonder today if the owner still lives local
And still takes the goat out for a walk now
Seeing all the intrigued views that they'd get
With their pet that's definitely in the here and now.

(This actually happened folks - and was surreal. Still a fond memory I have now.)

Summer Cat Haiku

Brian sits in shade
By his favourite little spot
Keeping the sun out.

(Brian the cat likes the sun to a degree, but if it's too hot he always finds the shade spot and sits there instead, purring with contentment.)