Poetry - August 2017

Ode To The Pacer

It's loved and loathed in different measures
And a ubiquitous solution to a shortage problem
But the Pacer is a train we all know up North
With its bumpy ride and ramshackle hum
You can see the bus style seats on board
Knowing that it's not built for a comfortable ride
It gets you eventually to its destination
But you were hoping for a Sprinter inside
Through the North of England and South Wales
It's a common sight you see every day
The rumble of tracks tells you it's coming
And the Pacer is indeed on its way
The bus on wheels is what it's commonly known as
The Leyland bus built on to a freight train body
It trundles on through the countryside and towns
With effortless ease and somtimes simplicity
They're eventually going to be replaced
By something that will actually be more of a train
But all hail the job that the Pacer did in its time
Filling the gap when massive cuts meant the strain.

(Love them or hate them, the Pacer is a unique thing amongst trains - and loved definitely by Vicki from All The Stations.)

Caravanning to Cornwall

Heading back up the A30 main road
And then the M5 back towards the North
All we can see is caravans a plenty
Coming down the the other way of course
The school holiday season is in full swing
And so every single motorhome and caravan
Is heading to the parks on the South West coast
Making the journey right now 'cos they can
The traffic is almost at a standstill
As the M5 resembles a car park of motorhomes
With many people all set for their week away
And the people go wherever they may roam
It's the slow drag to Cornwall and the sunshine
For their week of taking their caravan with them
Being by the sea and curled up in the van at night
And putting up with the insane traffic before them.

(I've never seen as many caravans and motorhomes before - it was literally like a mass migration!)

Hero The Hedgehog

Not since Berlino the Bear in 2009
Has athletics seen such a cult figure
Hero The Hedgehog was this year's mascot
And he brightened up London with vigour
Doing the high jump flop over the hoardings
Playing with the marching band
Getting Iwan Thomas into all sorts of trouble
And straddling the water jump with his hand
He invoked the fun into the athletics programme
And was a huge hit with the children
Who queued for ages to get their picture taken
With Hero having lots of time for all of them
No matter how old or how young you are
Hero had a sense of humour to suit you
He made watching all the events more enjoyable
And must have made lots of new friends too.

(The World Athletics Championships were ace - but made even more so by Hero The Hedgehog, the official mascot. Cult watching.)

Scooby Doo, Where Are You?

The Mystery Machine was surely an old Transit van
As it sped along the byways and highways of America
It contained four meddling kids and a dog named Scooby Doo
They would always stop at the strangest places
Because there was a mystery waiting to be solved
It would usually involve a ghost somewhere in the tale
And Shaggy and Scooby running like hell from it
While Thelma always would cry 'Jinkies!' finding a clue
Fred always seemed to be the organisational leader
He had it sussed, make sure Scooby had the ghosts
And Daphne would always for me look so darned inane
And at the end of every single show they'd unmask
The one who'd been making people's lives a misery
And they always say the same phrase as well, such as:
'And I would have got away with it
Had it not been for you meddling kids!'
And the viewers like me would be very happy
As Scooby munched into a legendary 'Scooby Snack'
And I can never forgive Hanna Barbera
Since the day they brought in Scrappy Doo!

(Everyone my age agrees that Scooby Doo was ruined forever with the addition of Scrappy Doo. This is for you..)

The Season Starts Haiku

Typical, it is
We knew Wayne Rooney would score
Against Man City.

(My friend and I had predicted it would happen on Monday night as Man City took on Everton, and sure enough it did...)