Poetry - August 2004

Eighteen Holes of Madness

You line up your putter and aim for the hole
While attempting to hit the ball up the ramp
And through the gap to go down the slope
And over the water jump towards the end
Where you'll manage to hit it in four shots
Or if you're unlucky, you'll take thirteen
You strive for the magical hole in one
And yet your opponent will usually do that first
But he hits the windmill that blocks a hole
You gleefully find the gap and clear the hole in two
And then onto the final approach
Where you have to hit it into a spiral descent
You smile as the ball lands close to the hole
Meaning you take two here and win the game.

(If there's one thing I love about the summer, it's playing crazy golf and being good at it too!)

Thirty Degrees of Separation

She leaves in the melting midday sun
He tries to call her back but it's too late
In the heat of passion he's been found out
She came to his flat to surprise him
But all she got was a nasty surprise
As he was naked - but not for her
Another person had entered his life
Who sizzled with flames of intensity
And drove the frustrations of him to wanton lust
As she walks off and tears start to fall
Her upset turns to complete anger
As the lies start to unfold in her head.

(It's not all happiness in the summer, and this says one thing: don't cheat on your partner. Okay?)

Kentucky Derby in A Seaside Town

We're racing on the Kentucky Derby
It's here, so play it now
Roll the balls into the holes
The more you score, the further you go
It's racing on the Kentucky Derby
It's here, so play it now
The commentator starts to say who's leading
And you're a face of concentration
As you roll the ball towards the red hole
And both your balls land in there really well
All of a sudden your horse is catching up
It's neck and neck with another one
You just need another red hole score to win
But sadly the person next to you just does enough
The bell rings in their favour
Your three goes for a pound are soon over
As you walk around the funfair
You see that more people are going on
Trying their luck and skill at the game
To win a soft toy for their loved one.

(Damn I used to be good at this game. Not any more if recent exploits are anything to go by)

Life Is..

Short and sweet
Or sometimes too short
What you make it
Or what you don't
The meaning of everything
Or means nothing to you
Life, la la la la la
Or a rubbish eighties song
A sentence that needs to be given more
Or a stay of execution for murderers
The essential joi de vivre
Or the non-essential need to expand things
An anagram of file
And also a job people like to keep for.

(I'm being deliberately paradoxical here.)

Like An Animal

She wants to feel you
From the inside right now, babe
Like Trent Reznor sang
Like an animal
Her whole existance is flawed
He brings her closer
To the reality
That is the passion they share
And the love they have
But yet they want lust
And driving intensity
That goes with their love
They play the song loud
And climax at the song's end
Industrial fuck.

(Dedicated for those who want to go to the next level, and for the NIN fans out there. Note this is a multi-versed haiku too.)