Poetry - August 2011

Sell Out

In the middle of the season
Just wasn't the best time
To tell everyone next year
You're only here half the time
As a compromise is reached
And a deal is struck
But for those who have no Sky
Well, you're all out of luck
The BBC have sold their souls
And their exclusive rights to F1
In a deal which is disliked
And doesn't please anyone
The BBC still get half the races
But that's no way to get glory
You can't see the big picture
Or be told the full season's story
It'd be like only seeing two rounds of golf
Without seeing the winner being crowned
Or one half of a relegation battle
Where you won't know who goes down
It was always said for British fans
That the F1 would be free to air
The viewing figures have been up
And the audience are right there
Every lap, every turn, cheering on
But alas it'll soon be no more
As the BBC sold their soul to Murdoch
A name we all recently deplore.

(Just disgraceful the way that F1 fans have been treated by the BBC, Sky, Bernie Ecclestone and even some of the team bosses. Don't they realise that when viewers drop massively it'll have all been a massive mistake?)

iCan't

There's so many things Apple claim to do
That are all possible with an iPad
But when you get down to using one
You'll find yourself less than glad
Yes it does wireless, and browse the Internet
And allow all nice mouse tricks
But you try printing via IP to a printer
And you'll soon be feeling sick
You have to tie yourself to iTunes
Which means that everything synchs
Which is fine if you're only hooking up to one PC
But more than one, the experience stinks
And what about sites that use Flash
So you can view lots of video content?
Well Apple don't like Adobe, so
You'll just have to miss out and lament
You're much better off with a Macbook or Pro
That does everything you want it to do and more
And is still pretty portable and unlike the iPad
You won't want to in frustration throw it on the floor.

(With all the hype surrounding the iPad, it's easy to get caught up in its whizzy gadgetry, but it's more a consumer gadget - using it for business doesn't really go, and there's so many limits. I don't mind Apple stuff and I'd happily use a Macbook Pro all day at work if everything I had to use worked with it but the iPad is just hype over substance I'm afraid.)

Run Out

The ball goes towards the boundary
But it just stopped in the nick of time
The batsmen go to the centre and cross
It's not though been called tea time
The fielder takes the bails off
And up goes the finger to be out
And yet the crowd don't understand it all
And start to boo and shout
Something happens during the tea interval
And the decision is strangely recalled
Considering we're supposed to be sporting
By this action I'm actually appalled
We pressured India into it apparently
Which means that we have no sense of shame
The Indian captain did what was best
In the gentleman's tradition of the game
But would we have done so
If the boot was on the other foot I wonder?
I will have to ponder that one some other time
As the match soon goes asunder..

(For me, England are good enough as a cricket team and didn't need to protest about the laws of the game when Ian Bell was correctly run out before tea on Sunday 31st July. MS Dhoni, the Indian captain, we salute your sporting gesture, much better than Andrew Strauss I am ashamed to say.)

Capote's Changed

Things change when they're edited
Such a book translated to film
They changed the end of Breakfast At Tiffany's
To give it all a happy ending
It made me wonder just why they did it
Because, why not stay true to the book?
Maybe being all smiles at the end
Helped sway cinema goers into a tale of love
Wonder what Truman Capote
Who wrote the book really thought
Was he happy or sad with how it turned out
Or did he just feel really distraught
At seeing his precious work edited heavily
And turned into all glitz and glam
Instead of what he set out and wrote
Which changed when it hit the screen?

(I always wondered what would happen if Breakfast At Tiffany's the film remained true to the novel. Would Audrey Hepburn have had the same impact? Possibly. Would it have enticed cinemagoers? That's the great unknown...)

Humid Haiku

The clouds are all low
You feel all hot and sweaty
Humid and all hot.

(Kind of wish Manchester's humidity wasn't so bad at times...)